My over-achieving mind

My over-achieving mind gets the best of me at times.  I said last time that my mind likes to take a situation and run with it.  Run with it until it finds all the most ridiculous, far-fetched outcomes possible.  A perfect example happened last week.

I had friends over to decorated my van for Trunk-or-Treat.  We were just doing the last few items when another car pulls into my driveway.  I have no idea who this is.  I see a boy and a dog still in the car.  The lady walks up to us and proceeds to tell me that my small dog bit her dog's nose earlier in the afternoon.  My dog has never bitten anyone or any thing else.  Unless you count all the squeaky toys around my house. And ropes.  Loves the ropes.  I look at her car to look at her dog.  Her dog could sit on my dog.  Easily.  She said her dog's nose was bad enough that she took it to the vet, she couldn't even look at it to clean it.  Thankfully no stitches were needed, she just needed to know whether or not Lady was up to date on her shots.  She is.  She says she isn't mad and it is her fault for letting her dog get that close to my fence.  And then she leaves.

I start trying to picture this incident.  The only way Lady could bite anything from behind the fence would be that the other dog must have stuck its nose through the fence.  Then Lady was trying to protect her turf.  We have a chain link fence.  Lady is a Jack Russell.  Her nose through the fence isn't going to bite anything. She will however, stick her blue racquetball ball into the fence in hopes you will throw it for her.  This other dog is big.  Why is this person walking her dog and letting it get so close to other dogs?  Was the dog on a leash?  Why is she just telling me?  I was home all day.  It was a Wednesday which meant no preschool.  I didn't leave the house.  Plus I had the windows opened and do not remember hearing any barking or dog fight.  Thankfully, I have witnesses who said it was her fault, not mine.

That night was Trunk-or-Treat.  I ate way too much sugar and then finished off my large Dr. Pepper around 8 PM.  Needless to say, what sleep I did get that night wasn't peaceful.  My mind.  My dreams that night were all dog related.  To the point I had to check to make sure Lady was still sleeping at the foot of our bed when I woke that next morning.

One dream was that this lady sued us.  And won.  And the judge told me that animal control had already taken the dog from my house and put her down.  While we were still in court.

The other dream was that the lady walked by our house again and opened the back gate giving Lady freedom.  And Lady would run.  She always does.  If she gets out, she's gone.  At full speed.  We never found Lady in that dream.  But the next day, every time I let her out, I watched from the deck.

My mind is still trying to convince me that this isn't over.  That it will resurface in the next couple of weeks.  My eyes are on Lady and any other dog that walks by my house.  Now to figure out how to turn my mind off.

Over a year, huh?

I forgot I had this blog.  Well, not entirely, but not sure if anyone still wants to read this.  Seems I update Facebook so much I forget there are a few of you not on there.  And there are times I think I shouldn't be on there either.  Having that feeling like I need to know what is going on with everyone outside my house instead of inside my house.  Feeling as if that is my only way to connect to people.  I like the chat feature.  If not, I'd be sure glad of my unlimited texting, because there are days I hold long conversations in between school drop offs and pick ups.  So maybe if I start this back up and give more than a sentence with a picture, I'd feel more connected and maybe you would too. 

Maybe by doing this again, I'd spend less time trying to see what everyone else is up to. What do you think?  Should I start writing again?  Not that I write well.  Never have.  I'd much rather go color and glue some sort of magical elementary school age appropriate craft.  Plus it seems that blogs have gone from here's what my family is doing to here's my attempt to be a mommy blogger and have all the insight into the world of children and family so we can judge and critique each other until we all feel like failures.  None of that.  If I'm back it is to share with what we are doing.  Adorable, way too often, pictures of the kids and what they are up to.  Like school happenings and soccer and soon to be basketball (yay! I can coach something I know!) and maybe a post or two once in a while about the craziness inside my head so maybe I won't be completely crazy by the time the kids are in high school.

Maybe a bit of my struggles. My struggle with letting small things become huge things in my head because I over analyze and try to figure out all the possible outcomes, usually the worse possible outcomes.  My struggle with anger.  And how it seems like my nightly prayers are always asking for forgiveness for my short temper.  My struggle with wanting to lose weight and loving it when I see a pound or two lower on the scale, but balancing that with my love of baking. And chocolate. And potatoes. My struggle with trying to figure out what I am now.  Once I was a single professional.  Then we married and I was a married professional.  Then I moved into the stay at home mommy role with wee little ones.  Now baby girl is in school with her little brother about to join her.  Now what? 

Maybe I'll share a bit of my love of baking.  I don't come up with recipes, but I love the tried and true ones.  Like the loaves of pumpkin bread sitting on the counter.  Along with the Elfish Shortbread sitting next to it.  Because who doesn't love sprinkles. 

Or maybe, because I always feel like face-to-face I ramble, this can be my place to ramble.  I do ramble.  I don't like speaking.  And then I get embarrassed if I'm talking to you and I realize I have been rambling.  Here, if you want to stop "listening" you can just close the window and I won't have to know.  Like now.  Just rereading what I have typed.  Man, I ramble.  And chase little white rabbits.  I always think of one of my high school English teachers when I say that.  We read Watership Down.  He was always chasing rabbits.

Like I said.  I ramble.  Who's ready for me to ramble again? Anyone?