My over-achieving mind

My over-achieving mind gets the best of me at times.  I said last time that my mind likes to take a situation and run with it.  Run with it until it finds all the most ridiculous, far-fetched outcomes possible.  A perfect example happened last week.

I had friends over to decorated my van for Trunk-or-Treat.  We were just doing the last few items when another car pulls into my driveway.  I have no idea who this is.  I see a boy and a dog still in the car.  The lady walks up to us and proceeds to tell me that my small dog bit her dog's nose earlier in the afternoon.  My dog has never bitten anyone or any thing else.  Unless you count all the squeaky toys around my house. And ropes.  Loves the ropes.  I look at her car to look at her dog.  Her dog could sit on my dog.  Easily.  She said her dog's nose was bad enough that she took it to the vet, she couldn't even look at it to clean it.  Thankfully no stitches were needed, she just needed to know whether or not Lady was up to date on her shots.  She is.  She says she isn't mad and it is her fault for letting her dog get that close to my fence.  And then she leaves.

I start trying to picture this incident.  The only way Lady could bite anything from behind the fence would be that the other dog must have stuck its nose through the fence.  Then Lady was trying to protect her turf.  We have a chain link fence.  Lady is a Jack Russell.  Her nose through the fence isn't going to bite anything. She will however, stick her blue racquetball ball into the fence in hopes you will throw it for her.  This other dog is big.  Why is this person walking her dog and letting it get so close to other dogs?  Was the dog on a leash?  Why is she just telling me?  I was home all day.  It was a Wednesday which meant no preschool.  I didn't leave the house.  Plus I had the windows opened and do not remember hearing any barking or dog fight.  Thankfully, I have witnesses who said it was her fault, not mine.

That night was Trunk-or-Treat.  I ate way too much sugar and then finished off my large Dr. Pepper around 8 PM.  Needless to say, what sleep I did get that night wasn't peaceful.  My mind.  My dreams that night were all dog related.  To the point I had to check to make sure Lady was still sleeping at the foot of our bed when I woke that next morning.

One dream was that this lady sued us.  And won.  And the judge told me that animal control had already taken the dog from my house and put her down.  While we were still in court.

The other dream was that the lady walked by our house again and opened the back gate giving Lady freedom.  And Lady would run.  She always does.  If she gets out, she's gone.  At full speed.  We never found Lady in that dream.  But the next day, every time I let her out, I watched from the deck.

My mind is still trying to convince me that this isn't over.  That it will resurface in the next couple of weeks.  My eyes are on Lady and any other dog that walks by my house.  Now to figure out how to turn my mind off.

Over a year, huh?

I forgot I had this blog.  Well, not entirely, but not sure if anyone still wants to read this.  Seems I update Facebook so much I forget there are a few of you not on there.  And there are times I think I shouldn't be on there either.  Having that feeling like I need to know what is going on with everyone outside my house instead of inside my house.  Feeling as if that is my only way to connect to people.  I like the chat feature.  If not, I'd be sure glad of my unlimited texting, because there are days I hold long conversations in between school drop offs and pick ups.  So maybe if I start this back up and give more than a sentence with a picture, I'd feel more connected and maybe you would too. 

Maybe by doing this again, I'd spend less time trying to see what everyone else is up to. What do you think?  Should I start writing again?  Not that I write well.  Never have.  I'd much rather go color and glue some sort of magical elementary school age appropriate craft.  Plus it seems that blogs have gone from here's what my family is doing to here's my attempt to be a mommy blogger and have all the insight into the world of children and family so we can judge and critique each other until we all feel like failures.  None of that.  If I'm back it is to share with what we are doing.  Adorable, way too often, pictures of the kids and what they are up to.  Like school happenings and soccer and soon to be basketball (yay! I can coach something I know!) and maybe a post or two once in a while about the craziness inside my head so maybe I won't be completely crazy by the time the kids are in high school.

Maybe a bit of my struggles. My struggle with letting small things become huge things in my head because I over analyze and try to figure out all the possible outcomes, usually the worse possible outcomes.  My struggle with anger.  And how it seems like my nightly prayers are always asking for forgiveness for my short temper.  My struggle with wanting to lose weight and loving it when I see a pound or two lower on the scale, but balancing that with my love of baking. And chocolate. And potatoes. My struggle with trying to figure out what I am now.  Once I was a single professional.  Then we married and I was a married professional.  Then I moved into the stay at home mommy role with wee little ones.  Now baby girl is in school with her little brother about to join her.  Now what? 

Maybe I'll share a bit of my love of baking.  I don't come up with recipes, but I love the tried and true ones.  Like the loaves of pumpkin bread sitting on the counter.  Along with the Elfish Shortbread sitting next to it.  Because who doesn't love sprinkles. 

Or maybe, because I always feel like face-to-face I ramble, this can be my place to ramble.  I do ramble.  I don't like speaking.  And then I get embarrassed if I'm talking to you and I realize I have been rambling.  Here, if you want to stop "listening" you can just close the window and I won't have to know.  Like now.  Just rereading what I have typed.  Man, I ramble.  And chase little white rabbits.  I always think of one of my high school English teachers when I say that.  We read Watership Down.  He was always chasing rabbits.

Like I said.  I ramble.  Who's ready for me to ramble again? Anyone?

Day #7 - the little things

I was already planning on wrapping up this adventure listing all the little things.  As I sit here with a pounding headache and two kiddos that seemed to have forgotten the meaning of the quiet & calm game, I really need to focus on this list.  Here it goes. No particular order.  And maybe without explanation.  Some of them just won't need it.

candy corn

coffee

coffee creamer

netflix

dr. pepper

facebook (to keep somewhat connected)

email (for all those coupons)

kids-eat-free nights

video games

70 degree weather

pre-cooked sausage

racecar themed grocery carts

long distance on my phone to call mom daily

straws

chocolate

giggles

snuggles & cuddles

a purr-box of a kitty

a warm kitty sitting in my lap

MOPS

my stand mixer

quietness

a digital camera

etc.

 

 

 

 

 

 

#6 - Eric

I don't tell him enough and he's not here to read this over my shoulder as I'm typing.  Babe, I'm thankful for you. 

I am thankful for the time he spends with the kiddos even when he feels like he has no time.  Even those times it is passed their bedtimes and I want nothing more than the kiddos to just be in their beds, but he takes the time and reads them their nightly Bible Story and ignores the are-you-really-keeping-them-up-past-their-bedtime look.  For the nights he wears his road shirt so the kids can play on his back.

I am thankful for doing all the things around the house that I just plain don't want to do.  Like yard work.  I hate yard work.  Especially in the Summer when the bugs are still alive.  I shiver just thinking about it.  And I know he is tired and just wants time to do the things he enjoys, but he makes time to do things around the house.

 

I am thankful that he hasn't called me a complete loony yet.  I may be getting to that point but he just goes with my craziness.  He lets me have my mood swings and then picks me back up.  He lets me cry and tell him how horrible I think my life is (It isn't. At all.  But sometimes I have these fits.)  He supports me in the things I do for just me.  And those weekends, when we lived a lot closer, I'd say, "I kinda want to go to Mom's." He'd say go. 

 

I am thankful for his calmness to my crazed being.  I am thankful for the time he spends with the kids. I am thankful that he enjoys his work.  And those weeks he has to travel, he calls.  He sends texts to check in.  I don't worry about him being off without me.  I know he is mine.  I am thankful he deals with all the relocation stuff.  The little bit I have had to deal with sends my head spinning.  I am thankful for his attentive nature.  And that he pays attention to the details.

 

I am thankful for this...

 

 

#5 - Eric's job

I am a day behind thanks to a busy Saturday and trying to spend some quality family time.  I'll still do seven items.

Eric has had a wonderful job for the past 10-1/2 years.  It has taken us to many states and has always provided for us.  Some would say that all the moving we have done is crazy.  And maybe they are right, but I am thankful that he has had this job, especially considering when he graduated it wasn't the best of times to be an electrical engineer. Thanks to his experience with his co-op job during school and his desire to be an engineer and not pursue the management side of things, DuPont offered him a job.  He enjoys working with the automation side of the manufacturing and he must be good at it since the last two assignments have resulted from more experienced engineers recommending him for those positions.

I am thankful that his job has let me stay home with the kids the past 5 years.  It hasn't always been a piece of cake, but I am thankful for the opportunity.  There are times when I am not fond of the job.  Especially all the traveling that he has been doing since we moved here, but I will not complain.  His job provides for us.  It is something he enjoys doing, even when it is stressful.

We have seen the country.  Or at least the eastern part of it.  We've been to Ohio, Delaware, North Carolina and now Iowa.  We've seen different areas and experienced different "cultures."  And yes, each place is different and unique.  I'm not sure I'm ready to ever be back in the crazy paced East Coast area for a while.  We've made friends everywhere.  And thanks to us not being the only ones that move, we have friends all over.  There is even a couple of friends from North Carolina that live about 30 minutes from us now.  We've got to slow down a bit to be able to meet up with them. 

DuPont is a diverse company.  When one area is slow, there is another they are pumping money in to.  Since he does like the engineering side of things and doesn't want to pursue management, I think he'll have opportunities for continued growth in his field.  He hasn't duplicated any business yet.  Right now bio-sciences is the big thing.  They are in Iowa building an ethanol plant that produces ethanol from the corn plant, not the actual corn.  His first job was customer support at a car plant that bought DuPont automotive paint. 

I am thankful for a great company and all the opportunities it has provided.  I am thankful that Eric enjoys his job. And that he is one H*** of an Engineer...

#4 - The color pink

I am not a girly girl  Never have been.  Or as long as I can remember at least.  But then five years ago we were blessed with a baby girl.  And from the start her color has been pink.  I tried to stop it.  Her bedding and décor was green and purple.  We were thinking Tinker Bell colors.  I didn't buy anything pink.  But that doesn't mean she wasn't given any pink.  In fact I think my mom tried her best to buy lots of pink.  To make up for me never wanting anything pink.  Unless it was taffy. Or ice cream.  Pink in sugary sweet form is fine.

However, this little girl had her mind made up from the start.  Pink is her color.  How do I know this?  I just folded a load of laundry.  It was all pink.  We also promised her that when we moved she got to pink out the paint for her room.  Can you guess?  Yep. Pink.  And two shades of pink at that.  Here's your proof.

 

Here's also the proof that I did it.   

 

 

So why am I thankful for pink?  I am thankful for a lot of reasons.  Pink means that a little girl is in our lives.  I was told at one point that due to the severity of my PCOS I most likely would not be able to have kids without medical help.  I did.  A miscarriage before Kathryn brought hope there would be a child one day.  And I got this spunky little girl that loves pink and challenges me daily.

 

Pink pushes me out of my comfort zone.  I had no idea what to do with a little girl.  Dresses?  I may have one or two in my closet. Pink? It had better be strawberry flavoring.  And yet, those are two of her favorite things.  And usually it is pink dresses.  With bows.  Or butterflies.  Or both.

 

 

After we painted her room I asked her something to the effect of, "So how do you like it?"  Her response? "It is okay, but it could be more girly."  "More girly?  How???" "It needs butterflies."  My thoughts went straight back to 6th grade.  We had just moved into a new house.  My room had blue wallpaper and it was COVERED in butterflies.  And I hated it.  I was upset that Randy's room got painted first.  Me??  In a room with butterflies??? It was horrible.  And now I have this little girl asking for butterflies.  Nana to the rescue and sent her butterflies to paint.  See. My mother is still trying to make up for all those years. (I love you Mom!)

 

My pink girly girl is also stubborn.  And strong-willed.  And so much like her mother my uncle even called her a mini me.  And he probably knew me the best, out side of my immediate family, when I was that age.  She & I.  We butt heads.  We snuggle.  We fight.  But I know this pink-loving little girl is all mine.  She is my miracle.  And I love her to no end, pink and all.

 

 

Day #3 - Andrew's Imagination

(As a side note to yesterday's post I, in no way, am against homeschooling.  I think it works wonderfully for a lot of families.  Kathryn & I butt heads way to often and most of our little bits of preschool work we did ended up in tears.  She does much better in a classroom setting.  My gripe was with other moms, who knew very little about us, making me feel that I was putting her in harms way or I was less of a Christian for putting her in public schools. I truly believe that homeschooling is the way to go for a lot of my friends and family.  It works wonderfully and gives a lot of flexibility. We had prayed about it and knew that public school is where she needed to be. I did not mean to offend anyone if my tone came across wrong.)

Andrew.  My very independent child.  The child I have to go find because he's been playing by himself for an hour and I have no idea what he is doing.  His imagination is crazy.  From fires to space to super-heroes, the day is not boring. This is what my living room looks like 5 out of 5 weekdays.

 

The fire station is hiding behind the barn.  There may or may not have been a fire at the barn caused by the light saber or maybe by exhaust of the oversized tractor.  There is also a space station in the back that saw a flying pig come to aid the astronaut in defense from the blue & green aliens.  And I can, without a doubt, say that the blocks were most definitely used to design some sort of airplane.  And this all may have occurred within a five minute time frame and multiple times throughout the day.

 

This was from another fire-filled day.  As you can see, anyone can be a firefighter.  Including a tiny Delta airplane.  It was used to dump water on the fire in the canyon (the stairwell).

 



 

Mommy must be apart of the action because what is a fire station without a Station Officer.  Yes, I know it is a police hat, but I'm not arguing with a very stubborn 3 year old.

 

 

 

The kids made these glasses at church.  Andrew wore his for the majority of the day.  This is sitting on the floor at Target while reading a book on tractors.  And yes, he wore them all through out the store.  And I think they are still sitting on his nightstand.

 

This boys imagination will keep him busy all day.  I am very thankful for that.  Kathryn is my needy child.  By that I mean that she needs my attention.  She will play by herself, as long as I am watching.  She needs the interjections once in a while to show I am paying attention.  Not Andrew.  Once in a while I'll get a "Watch this!"  His imagination will take him as Superman to outer space to fight aliens with his imaginary puppy as his side kick who may also have a light saber as a tail.

 

But he does love to play and for that I am thankful.